THE REFORMED WITNESS HOUR
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prca.orgDear Radio Friends,
We will return for a final time today to
our series on marriage, the family, and God’s covenant, focusing yet once more
on what it means for a wife to be submissive to her husband. I have said many times in this series that we
cannot say too often that marriage is to be the picture of Christ and the
church, meaning that we, as husbands and wives, must mirror God’s covenant bond
with us in our marriages. We do not want
our marriage to lie, to leave the wrong impression. But we want it to leave the correct
impression of what it means that Christ loves the church.
Jesus said, “Let
your light so shine before men that they may glorify your Father which is in
heaven.” If we are to do that, as
husbands and wives, we must know our calling.
Our calling as a husband is to exercise a wise, biblical headship over
our wives. We are to look to
Christ. We are to love our wives with a
sacrificial love. We are to protect and
provide for our families. And we saw
last time that a wife is to submit to her own husband as unto the Lord. She is to take the picture of the church’s
subjection to Christ as being what she wants to mirror toward her husband. In other words, the calling of the wife is to
leave a testimony before the world of what the church thinks of Jesus Christ,
and of the great love that the church has for Jesus Christ.
We are going to
look once more into the calling of the wife to submit. Today we are going to look at the Word of God in
I Peter 3:5, 6.
We read, “For after
this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned
themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him
lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as
ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Peter there is
tracing out the roots of a wife’s wise submission to her husband. He says that it belongs to her very
womanhood, as given by God, because women, in Christ, are holy, they trust in
God, and they adorn themselves with spiritual graces. Because that is the case with a woman, you
will find that she also sees and follows her calling to be submissive to her
husband. So, if you are looking for the
source of a wife’s submission, and if you ask, “Where does this submission come
from? What gives it its life? How do you explain this?” Peter responds: “You need to see Christian womanhood. You need to understand what it means to be a
woman of God. The roots of a wife’s
submission are found there.”
But before we look
into those roots that Peter shows to us, let us note two things, if only
briefly, in this Word of God. First,
Peter is expressing the great purpose God has in the Old Testament Scriptures,
as well as the New Testament, especially in the historical portions of those
Scriptures. God’s purpose is to give us
examples (living, breathing, real examples) of redeeming grace. When you read the Old Testament Scriptures,
do not immediately spiritualize. Do not
think that you must find some hidden meaning behind every event. God is giving tangible, concrete examples of
what it means to live by faith through grace.
Do not read the Bible as a dated, ancient, long-ago book. But in the lives of the saints in both Old
and New Testaments, see that God is drawing a picture of what it means to live
the life of grace.
And, secondly, let
us see that Peter is saying to us that when he sets before us the call of the
wife to submit to her husband, he is not setting forth a novelty. When the Scriptures call the wife to submit
to her husband, this is not something of a particular culture. Peter is saying that the Christian life is
the same in all ages. The Christian life
is not determined by what a society will bear, what an age will accept. But it is determined by the will of God in
Holy Scripture. Each age has its own
arrogance. Each age will say, “Issues,
situations of our day, are different. We
live in a global society. We have
redefined the roles of husband and wife.
We have redefined sexual orientation and morals. The Bible talks about women who wore sandals
and carried water in clay pots and lived in tents and bowed before men. But that’s not the way it is today.” God says to that, “Don’t talk arrogantly.” In the book of Job, Job was asked, “How long
have you been around, Job?”
Likewise, God says regarding women, “This is My
word. This is her beauty. This is her femininity. It involves also that in marriage she will
submit to her husband.”
Now, as I was
saying, Peter shows the roots of a woman’s submission to her husband, the
things that make it strong and beautiful.
He shows three roots.
First, the deepest
root of womanhood is hope in God. In verse 5 of
I Peter 3
we read, “The holy women also, who trusted (or better, who
hoped) in God, adorned themselves.” They
hoped in God. That is where the Scripture
begins. What is the deepest root of
God’s grace in a believing girl? It is hope in God. In the words of
Psalm 62:
Truly my soul waiteth
upon God; my expectation is from Him; He only is my rock and my refuge. A Christian woman does not place her hope in
her husband as the source of her ultimate good and peace. She does not place her hope in this
life. She does not place her hope in
getting a husband. She does not place
her hope in her looks. She does not say
concerning her looks, “This is going to keep me. This will provide security and
acceptance.” But she places her hope in
the promises of God. She lays hold of
them. That is the root of being a
Christian woman: hope in God.
We read in
Proverbs 31:25:
“Strength and honour
are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.” Better translated, “She shall laugh at times
to come.” She laughs at everything the
future will bring and might bring, because she hopes in God. The source of womanhood, first of all, in
Christ, is hope in God. With hope in God
the Christian woman looks away from the troubles, miseries, and obstacles of
this life that seem to make the future so bleak. And she focuses her attention on the
sovereign power and love of her God, who rules in heaven and earth as He
pleases. The Christian woman, therefore,
knows her Bible. She knows her
theology. She knows the sovereignty of
God. She knows His promise that He will
be with her and help her no matter what.
This is the deep root of womanhood.
It is not the deep
root of any woman, but only of a believing woman. Not just a married woman, but all holy
women. Hope will drive away fear—hope in
God! That first.
Secondly, Peter
says the root of womanhood is holiness.
He says, “...holy women also, who hoped in God.” The root of being a Christian woman is
holiness, the holiness that Jesus Christ bestows. We have bad ideas sometimes about holiness. Holiness is not something of ourselves. It is of
the grace of God. It is the presence of
the Holy Spirit of Christ in our hearts creating new, God-pleasing
desires. In Christ, holiness is not
drudgery, a dull thing. It is not a
proud thing whereby we say, “I’m holier than you.” But it is the consecration of all my being
and the dedication of all that I am to the service of God. It is the realization of the purpose of my
life. Peter said in I
Peter 2:9,
“But ye are a…holy nation…that ye should shew
forth the praise of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.” Holiness
means that we are set aside for God’s praise.
Holiness in a Christian woman means that she understands that she is not
set aside to be eyed in the lust of men.
Girls, you need to be very careful what pictures you put on Facebook. Every boy
knows what pictures you have and knows exactly what you are showing. Your body (no, not yours, Christ’s body—it is
Christ’s possession!) is to be to the praise and to the honor of God’s grace. The root of a Christian woman is the
steadfast desire, it is the sincere commitment, to be
pure, chaste, and devoted to God. A
Christian young man will be attracted to you by what you do not show him.
And, thirdly, the
root of a Christian woman is to be focused on the internal adornment of
grace. The apostle Peter says, “This is
how women in the Old Testament times adorned themselves.” Here he is referring back to verses 3 and 4 of
I Peter 3,
where he said that the adornment must not be of the outward, but
of the hidden man of the heart. The
Christian woman, then, does not focus on the external. Not because the Bible is against beauty and
attractiveness. You must not read the
Scriptures and say that the Christian woman must dress in a gunnysack. But the idea is this, that
the Christian woman does not focus, does not place her efforts, on the outside
but focuses on the beauty that is within.
She is concerned about the internal beauty. And Christian men are also addressed here in
what they expect. What are we saying to
woman in the church, to our wives, to our daughters, that we want them to
be? In the world it is very plain what
the world wants them to be. It is
expressed in the fashion models—skinnier and skinnier. It is shown on the magazine covers and on the
TV and on the billboards. They have to
have the perfect figure, the tight clothes, the cleavage, the naked-look dress,
the seductive look. Beauty to the world
is brazen, manipulative, and assertive.
God says, “Come into My divine school of cosmetology.” This is not dull! Sarah, Rebekah,
Rachel—all of these were beautiful women.
Beauty is a gift of God. But God
says that you must be concerned about an inward beauty that mirrors the grace
of Jesus Christ.
Now it is out of
these—hope in God, holiness, and a focus on inward beauty—out of these grows the
godly submission of a wife to her husband.
Do not try first to be submissive.
Ask God to grow these roots in your heart: hope in God, holiness, and focus on inward
beauty. And out of those things in your
heart, live with your husband in submission.
Peter brings it all
together with an example. The Scriptures
often say to us
that an example is worth a thousand words.
And the example here is Sarah.
Peter says, “Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do
well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Who was Sarah? Sarah was the wife of Abraham and one of the
most fascinating women in all of the Bible. She had many facets. She was a woman of faith. She is mentioned in
Hebrews 11:11:
“Through faith also Sarah herself received
strength to conceive seed.”
The Bible, of
course, does not overlook the faults of Sarah.
Sarah could be very pushy. In
Genesis 16,
when the promise of a son to Abraham was not getting done, and she
was now 78 years old and had been in the
But the Bible
focuses on Sarah’s virtues, on her faith, on what God did in her. She was not perfect. And yet, when God summed her life, and uses
her as an example, He does not focus on her faults. He focuses on what He did in her. God is more gracious than we are. We should learn from that.
Peter says that
Sarah is an example of two things—two things that God worked in her as an
example to Christian wives. First of
all, in what she did. Sarah obeyed
Abraham. She listened to him and she
responded favorably. She showed her
submission in following Abraham, by giving up what was most dear to her as a
woman. God had said to Abraham, “Go to a
land that I will show thee.” He was
seventy-five years old. She was
sixty-five. Abraham had only the word
and the promise of God. Sarah had to
leave a place, the place of her family, the place of her security. She had to set her husband’s God-given
calling and duty above herself. She is
no different from any other woman. She
would have asked Abraham, “Where are we going?
Do you know where? Are we coming
back?” And all he could respond was,
“Sarah, I don’t know. You have to come
with me.”
And then, do not forget
Genesis 22,
when God said to Abraham, “Take thy son, thy only son,
Isaac, whom thou lovest, and offer him up to me where
I will show thee.” Do you think that
Abraham kept that secret from Sarah? I
do not believe that. I believe that he
told her: “Sarah, God calls us to give
up this child, to give this child over.
And, Sarah, you can’t go with me.
You can’t protect him. God says
that He is going to work this out.” I
think it was a very teary farewell that day.
And while we think of Abraham on the three-day journey to Mount Moriah knowing that he must offer up his own son, what do
you think was on Sarah’s heart as she was left home alone, as she thought of
her son Isaac, the miracle child, whom she had nursed and whom she loved? I think that the last words that Abraham and
Sarah spoke on the day that Abraham left with Isaac to offer him up are the words that are recorded in
Hebrews 11:19.
I believe that Sarah spoke these words with Abraham: “God is able to raise him up from the dead.” Sarah hoped in God. Sarah knew God’s care of her and committed
her child into that care.
Secondly, Sarah is
an example because of what she called her husband. Peter says she called him “lord.” What does that mean? It means this: what you call someone reflects what you think
of your relationship to that person. It
is indeed interesting that there is one time recorded in the Bible that Sarah
called Abraham “lord.” It is found in
Genesis 18:12.
Three angels have
appeared to Abraham. God has spoken His
promise: “Sarah shall have a son.” And you recall that Sarah, inside the tent,
was eavesdropping. And when she heard
that, she laughed, for she was far past the age of bearing children and she had
never been able to bear a child. And the
Spirit of God tells us what she said in herself at that moment: “After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure,
my lord being old also?” Now, what you
say about someone behind his back is the clearest indication of what you think
about him. To their face you say, “Yes,
sir, officer. Yes,
Dad.” But then, when you are by
yourself, you express what you really think about that person. Here is Sarah. She is expressing her unbelief in God’s
promise, her cynicism with God, and if ever she is going to speak in a
degrading way of her husband it would be now.
“I’m going to have child with that old man?” What would you call your husband? What do you call your husband when you are
most frustrated and exasperated? Sarah,
at that moment, called him “lord.” Sarah
embraced in her deepest soul her relationship to Abraham given by God in
marriage. She had one thing
straight. “This is my God-given
husband. This is my head, my leader, my
provider, my protector, my lord.” Out of
the heart, says the Bible, one speaks.
So, have you embraced this Word of God that the man to whom God has
given you, the man to whom you are married is the head, husband, leader,
protector, lord?
And do you, for Christ’s sake, serve him as the church serves Christ?
Peter says to the
Christian woman, “You don’t need to be afraid when you do this. You are daughters of Sarah, as long as ye do
well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Submission must not be rooted in fear.
Submission is free. It is our
liberty in Christ to give up ourselves for another. This is freedom. You are the daughters of Sarah. The faith that God placed in Sarah is the
faith that God places in you. This woman
Sarah, who wore sandals and lived in a tent, is speaking. God is speaking through her. A woman who had everything against her hope,
who could not see with the human eye God’s promises, she believed in God. And her example gives birth.
Let us be
encouraged. Yours is not just a
marriage. You are a daughter of
Sarah. Your life of godly submission,
your life as a wife, glorifies God.
Perhaps you are not being written about or are not going to be written
about in Good Housekeeping, or in the Ladies’ Home Journal. But you preach a lasting sermon. Your life bears a testimony throughout all
ages of God and of His Son Jesus Christ.
You need not fear. You need not
fear that submission will make you vulnerable.
Hope in God. Seek to do the will
of God. Do not fear. Do not fear losing your attractiveness, your
beauty. Do not fear what will happen to
your children, your house, or your wealth.
Make God your hope and your refuge.
Follow His will. Seek the beauty
that is in Jesus Christ. Sink the roots
of your faith into Him. And the
believing generation, the believing church, the believing husband, and the
believing children will, by God’s grace, say of you: “She is beautiful in the beauty of Christ.”
Let us pray.
Father, we again thank Thee for Thy
Word and pray for its blessing upon our hearts.
We pray that we may not be conformed to this world, but be transformed
by Thy Word, that in our marriages especially we may reflect Christ and the
church. We pray in His name alone, Amen.
Last Modified: 12-04-2007