Should Churches Marry Anyone?

One reader asks, "What are your views regarding the church ... marrying unconverted people?  I think the whole thing makes a mockery of true religion."  We think it makes a mockery not only of true religion but also of marriage!

There are several things that need to be remembered here.  First, marriage is not a sacrament, but a civil ordinance.  It does not, as such, belong to the church, but to the civil powers.  There is, therefore, no need that a marriage be performed by a minister or in a church.  A marriage performed by the magistrate in the local registrar's office is a legal marriage before God, all other things being equal.

That marriage is a civil ceremony is clear from the fact that it traces back to the time before the fall (Gen. 2:21-25), and to the various ordinances that God gave to all mankind prior to the fall.   It does not have its origin in saving grace, but in creation.  Thus, the marriages of unbelievers are real marriages in God's sight, and they are required to keep His ordinances regarding marriage, even though they marry without Him.

The alternative to this is really the view of Roman Catholicism that marriage belongs to the church and is a rite to be administered by the church, in other words, a sacrament.  The only other alternative is that of anabaptism, which does not (historically) recognize the authority of the civil magistrate.

That ministers are legally entitled to marry people and that these marriages are performed in churches is the case only in order that the marriage of Christians may be distinguished from the marriage of unbelievers, and even that is possible only when the State gives ministers the legal right to marry men and women.

When marriages are performed in churches by ministers, there is the opportunity to exhort from Scripture both those who are present and those who are marrying, to point out that Christian marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church (Eph. 5:22-33), to give God's people opportunity to witness this beautiful picture of the that great and blessed relationship, and to bless the marriage in the Name of God and Christ.  That is good, and the only reason for ministers or churches to be involved in this work.

Generally speaking, believers should not wish to be married by ungodly civil authorities, who neither recognize the sanctity of marriage, nor care that it is an ordinance of God, and who are, at best, only interested in carrying out their civic responsibilities.  It is right and good that they be married, if possible, by and among those who love and cherish marriage, who will assist them in the responsibilities of married life, and who will remind them of the seriousness of marriage and of the blessings of Christian marriage.

There is, then, no good reason for churches to marry unconverted people.  Their marriages are not pictures of Christ and His church.  They are not interested in hearing the Word of God concerning marriage, nor are their marriages blessed by God.  Indeed, when the churches do this they "make a mockery of true religion" in that by their presence and assistance they say that there is a blessing for those who do not marry "in the Lord."